Happy Birthday


Happy Birthday to me. I wasn’t going to write a blog about me on my birthday, but then after I thought about it I decided, why the hell not? It is my birthday after all and why shouldn’t I celebrate me? I like chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, but in order to maintain this womanly figure, I’ll skip the cake and eat a nice salad with homemade salsa instead.

I’ve also decided that I will add a memory that I have of each person that writes on my Facebook wall. Let’s just say it’s my gift to you. If you don’t read my blog, then I guess you won’t know.

I’ve been thinking about my life through the years. I’ve recalled some of my experiences, the people who I’ve come in contact with. There have been a lot of men and women I’ve met through my years. It has been tough sometimes, easy other times. Lots of different experiences, good and bad, happy and sad.

Sometimes we waste too much of our time thinking about someone who doesn’t think about us for a second. I’ve lived my life so many years thinking that the people I come in contact with should show me the same loyalty and respect that I show them. Finally after all these years, I realize that most people don’t have the same set of standards as I do. I know that sounds conceited and superficial, but aren’t we all to a certain degree?

My sister so kindly put it this way, “…is passive aggressive and attaches a price tag on kindness.” Unfortunately that college education the taxpayers paid for, didn’t teach her the difference between acknowledgement and reciprocation. I don’t expect an exchange in kindness, but I do expect acknowledgement. If you can’t take two seconds to say a simple thank you, then you are not worthy of my friendship. If this hurts your feelings, maybe it’s time to think about the kind of friend you’ve been.  I’ve lived too many years being the friend who keeps in touch, the friend who gives 51 percent, the friend who goes the extra mile, while the other person sits back and reaps the rewards. Relationships (I don’t care what kind they are) are fifty-fifty. It’s give and take on both sides. If you’re not up for the task, how does Mick Jagger put it? “Get off of my cloud.”

My one true friend who has been there through thick and thin, I met in the eighth grade. We started going together on Valentine’s Day when we were freshmen. We were inseparable all through high school. We were babies. Life needed to be lived and we were too young to live it together. He went his way and I went mine and we experienced much life without each other. Twenty six years later we reconnected and all the old feelings returned. True friendship, true love, true respect for each other. It truly was an act of God, and life has not been better.

I don’t like to preach about my faith because I’ve seen too many bad things become of it. Christians praise God for this and that and everything else. It gets so sickening after seeing it so much. People who do that give Christians a bad name. I can share this from experience because I did it. If you know what God did for you, good, live it. Show it. He died on the cross for you, He didn’t say you had to. I’m a sinner, saved by grace. I swear, I drink, I talk about sex. I dress provocatively sometimes. I even smoke a cigarette on occasion. I write controversial shit and there are a lot of explicit words wrapped in sex and drugs and violence. Does that mean I’m going to hell? No, it means I’m real and I’m living life in a sin cursed world.

Today I celebrate my birthday. Today I thank God for all of the people and experiences He has put me in contact with throughout my (almost) half-century life. I am who I am because of the choices I made, and the experiences I lived. There is not one person to blame for anything I have gone through, good or bad. When bad things happened, I had put myself in a situation I should have thought better of. When good things materialized, I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time. We all have options in our life. It is up to us to make the best choices for the path we wish to go down.

Now on to bigger and better things. Now on to the next best seller. Check out some of these blogs for an in-depth interview with the emerging author of Blackhorse 2015, Crackerberries.



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