When the Bully Comes to the Office
I decided to write about this topic because a very close relative of mine is going through some incidents at work. I wish I were there to go to the office where she works, and slap the shit out of the catty women that are being snotty and bitchy. (Can you hear the tone in my voice? Yes, it angers me.) There is no need of bullying what-so-ever. Since I am about 1200 miles away from my very close relative, my only hope is to write something that might help her. Hence, this article.
Okay so first let’s understand what we are dealing with. Women in the workplace. In my extensive work history and office experience, I can honestly say it is easier and less stressful to work in an office full of sloppy men, than an office full of duteous women. Why? Because women who work with a bunch of other women become catty, and there is nothing worse than a catty woman. How do I know this? Because I’ve been on both sides of the fence.
What is a catty woman? A woman who is mean-spirited and nasty toward other women not only in the workplace, but in general. A woman who intends to hurt another woman or man’s professional or emotional well-being. A woman who feels insecure about her own self-worth and therefore degrading others makes her feel better about herself. This cattiness can happen indirectly, and sometimes the perpetrator doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. Catty women are afraid to confront their victims in a direct and respectful manner. Instead they go behind the back of the person they have targeted and sabotage them by engaging others to follow suit.
Of course it’s easy to sit here and write about what to say or what to do because I’m not in an office full of women. It is more difficult while going through it, when it feels like the whole group of women that you work with are talking about you and laughing about you behind your back. Now I can say I feel sorry for the bully. I understand what made the catty woman insecure, envious, competitive, and judgmental toward others. Like I said, I’ve been on both sides of the fence and it all goes back to that old saying: Never judge a person until you’ve walked in their shoes. This works for both the offender and the prey.
If you have to bring it to the attention of your boss, do it in a manner where it will not be a “he said, she said” argument. Instead tell your boss how it is effecting moral. There is nothing worse than trying to work in a place where there is female tension going on. It is a proven fact that women who work together tend to go through their menstrual cycle together and we all know what kind of drama the menstrual cycle causes.
Understand that you cannot control other people’s actions. Some people are just plain mean by nature and thrive on bringing whoever they can down. If possible only interact with them when absolutely necessary. Avoid them as much as possible.
Don’t let the bully bring you down. You are above them. They are fighting their own battle of insecurity and lack of confidence. Stand up for yourself by letting them know their immaturity will not deter you from doing the best job you were hired to do.
There are tons of articles about this and I’m just one opinion, speaking my mind. Of course if the workplace bullying is making you physically ill, or if you feel threatened in any way, shape or form, it’s time to make a decision about whether or not this is the right job for you.
Footnote: I have no degree in psychology or sociology. I have no doctrine in anything. My information comes from experience only. I didn’t sit in a college class and take notes and then pass an exam. My thoughts and opinions are strictly based on my own research, experience, and from watching others. Take this article for what you will.