Category Archives: Humor

Y = You and You are NOT the Christ ~ Letters from the Heart #atozchallenge


Dear Impersonator:

Y is for you, and you are not the Christ. Oh, but to have just one day to be the Christ! Can you imagine all the wrongs you’d right? Of course you wouldn’t do it the way Christ did. Dying on a cross for sinners? Heck no! You’d just snuff ‘em out with an enchanted twitch of your nose or a few hocus pocus words with a swirly twirl of your magic-wand-pen.  No second chances, sinners, you’re gone! Ha ha …now wouldn’t that be fun?

Sometimes you try to play God, point your finger to the ones who are doing wrong.  You try to put things in motion  to turn out a certain way. Sometimes you do things to make other things happen to get you the desired result. How do those times turn out for you? Never very good right?

Remember cutting the Cedar tree limbs because the road was blocked? The neighbors told you they took care of the road. (Course they lied, but you still had to exert your rights). Cops came told you NOT to touch the trees, even though they were on the right of way. “The Jones (not their real name) have a lot of entitlement in these parts.” Shit you not, the officer said so himself.

God took care of it all in the end, but if you had just left it alone instead of exerting YOUR rights, you wouldn’t have so many run-ins with the neighbors.  You also would not have the sheriff’s department giving you a “friendly reminder” every time you decide to start a new project! That name has clout in the these parts…don’t you forget it. You’re a Yankee and the South is gonna do it again (that’s a whole other topic, don’t get started!)

Do you wonder if other people think about having that kind of power? Wonder what it would be like to be the Christ for one day? Isn’t that why writers write? To live in a little bit of fabricated world to set aside the real world humdrums even for a short period of time. That’s why you write when you are writing to entertain yourself.

Even in a good short story with that kind of power you couldn’t handle it. You probably wouldn’t be able to handle three wishes. You’d screw up the first two, then have to use the last one to wish that you never had them in the first place. It’s better to live by these instructions.

1. It is all in God’s hands, you are not the Christ.
2. Any questions, refer to #1.

Thanks for playing along. This was just a silly-willy kind of letter. You were convicted a lot in that last Bible study. It’s good to be humble.  He’s got it all planned and mapped out for you if you just follow His prompting. Don’t try to do it on your own. You’ll mess it up and then you know what happens? 


Your constant and faithful,


I don’t know about you guys but I am ready for a break. Omigosh so many things that I’ve not done around the house. Tomato plants are dying to be transplanted (literally). I sure hope we can all stay in touch if not daily, weekly maybe or monthly. It’s really been nice to have you loyal bloggies come around for a visit.

Reflections of What Made You Who You Are ~Letters from the Heart #atozchallenge

Dear B,

Well you have absolutely done it again. Picked a topic which takes a lot of deep thought and contemplation. How in the world will you get this post done in time? There’s much to do…cooking, cleaning …. and calling your mother.

You may have to cheat just a little.

Why do you write ?  Have a gander right here.  When you get a chance maybe you should update that.

Writing has always been a hobby but at one point there was a time you wanted to be famous.  Remember that terrible book you had so many issues with?

It’s more fun to just have a place to ponder your thoughts and write whatever you want instead of what people tell you to write.

When you get sick of writing let your creativity explode in the kitchen. You always have something tasty going on over there.

Tall Cool ☺ne and you have such a fairytale to tell, not to mention the on-going journeys and never ending projects. My, my, you are a busy little thing aren’t you?  Just a face in the crowd baby, a face in the crowd.

Now, in perfect fashion, you have decided to take on that opportunity you talked about in an earlier post. Good luck my dear. You can do this. You have the inclination and determination it takes to push yourself to reach higher goals. If you are comfortable, you are not challenging yourself. Remember that, and when the going gets tough, get a cup of coffee and the tough will get going.

You just realized you don’t have a blog for the kids and grandkids.  You need to build a site for them….one more thing to add to your to do list.

until next time your constant and faithful,

Opportunity for Growth ~ Letters from the Heart #atozChallenge

Dear Fortune Hunter:

What in the world will you come up with next? Opportunities for growth? What is it that you want to grow in? That chocolate cake is a great opportunity for thigh and butt growth. Pretty sure that’s not what you were talking about when you put that on your theme reveal list.

You were probably thinking more of growth being on the spiritual side. That Bible study you have been working on It’s All Under Control has helped a lot. The struggle is real, my friend and you will deal with it on a daily basis. Control is not your friend.

At the time of writing this letter you were a little convicted for letting an opportunity slip by. One of the crew members on Tall Cool ☺ne’s Crew was given the chance to move up on the crew and take a new position with a small pay increase. He just had to show some effort that he wanted to do it by going to get a permit and then doing some training to get a certain license. (All paid for and done at work.) His response was “The little bit of money is not worth my time and effort”.

This convicted you a little because it was similar to a response you used when a new opportunity came up at work. The opportunity you gave up was a new position that offered an increase in salary and flexible shift.

While writing this letter you just talked yourself through it. The thing that is different between the crew member and you is about 35 years. You have to take courses on your own time. What do you want to do with your free time?  It is not paid for by the company until you pass the test. Then you are not guaranteed the position. Also not sure that your hours would be the same.

Maybe you will regret not engaging in the opportunity. One door closes, another one opens. Sometimes you have to know when to say no. That, my friend, is opportunity growth.



Until next time,
Your constant and faithful

[Side-note: this is the short version. You promised your readers you would keep these posts short and sweet. The full version can be found in that cool Orange 🍊 journal you bought for yourself just for this project]

Marriage ~ Letters from the Heart #atozchallenge


Dear Woman:

You sure know how to challenge yourself with this years A to Z Blogging Challenge. Marriage? You really want to write about marriage?

A bribe to make a housekeeper think she’s a house holder.                                                     ~Thornton Wilder

An institution which is popular because it combines the minimum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.                                  ~George Bernard Shaw

Neither heaven, nor hell… simply purgatory.                                                                                                ~Abraham Lincoln

Another topic with potential of stepping on toes and being controversial.  Why you picked marriage for the M topic we may never know.  Here you are, trying to come up with something witty and sound like you know what you’re talking about when you don’t have a clue.

Here’s what you’ve learned:

  • Don’t put anchovies on pizza
  • Fruit does not go in beer
  • All potato salad is the same
  • No matter how you slice it, cake is not pie

There are other things but it’s too early in the morning, you’re brain has not had enough coffee.  You just asked for a tip from Tall Cool ☺ne.  His words of wisdom: Don’t get married until you know everything! 

Tomorrow we’ll talk about needful things.

Until next time,
Your constant and faithful



What is A2ZBlogging? Using this premise, you would start beginning April First with a topic themed on something with the letter A, then on April second another topic with the letter B as the theme, and so on until you finish on April thirtieth with the theme based on the letter Z. It doesn’t even have to be a word–it can be a proper noun, the letter used as a symbol, or the letter itself. The theme of the day is the letter scheduled for that day.

Helping Those in Need ~Letters From the Heart #A2ZChallenge2021

Hello, Hello, Howdy and Hey-hey whaddaya say?

Your letter today is going to be short and sweet because Tall Cool ☺ne decided since it was Thirsty Thursday you guys would pretend you were back in high school and instead of him going home after Rockford Files he stayed, and you guys played… into the wee hours of the night (or morning). You are getting a little too old for that on a “school” night and it’s gonna be a long day on three hours of sleep.

Today’s offering is about helping those in need. You might interpret that to mean helping homeless helpless people. Not today my friend. Help is support for anyone who needs it. Just because you work at home don’t think there are not opportunities to help. It comes in various ways.

It can be as simple as a smile 🙂 over the phone ☎️ and if you try really hard people can hear that smile 🙂 in your voice. A gesture 🤙, a peace sign ✌️, a tip of the hat 👒, a nod of the head 🙃, even a like 👍on a social media site or other places you interact with people virtually.

Helping is a gift. Not everyone has the personality to be a helper…some are antagonists. Avoid them at all costs…just kidding, those are the ones who need the help the most. Remember that the next time someone comes along that you would rather avoid. Be the one person in their day that shines.

Until next time,

your constant and faithful,

What is A2ZBlogging? Using this premise, you would start beginning April First with a topic themed on something with the letter A, then on April second another topic with the letter B as the theme, and so on until you finish on April thirtieth with the theme based on the letter Z.  It doesn’t even have to be a word–it can be a proper noun, the letter used as a symbol, or the letter itself.  The theme of the day is the letter scheduled for that day.

Gardening ~Letters from the Heart #A2ZChallenge2021

 


Hey Bob:

(That’s just a little inside joke. When you call your mother, that’s how she answers the phone. ☺♥)

When the list was made for the “theme reveal” your letter about gardening was meant to be just that. Out in the garden, planting green beans, and cucumbers and tomatoes and all those fun vegetables that you and Tall Cool ☺ne love to eat through the summer and then can/preserve the abundance for later consuming.

After the past few days of self-reflection, gardening has taken on a new perspective. Think of it in a metaphorical sense. Maybe you need to go weeding.

Sometimes what we see as good and pretty is actually destroying what is healthy. For example the wisteria in the back yard is beautiful when in full bloom. The scent is a little over-powering but the flowers are gorgeous.  Unfortunately the plant itself is invasive. When Tall Cool ☺ne cut it back (to your dismay) azalea, camellia and gardenia bushes were revealed.

 

 

Sometimes giant pretty things need to be destroyed to reveal healthy little things.  What is in your life that needs weeding? What looks big and pretty that is covering up small and healthy?

Food for thought.

your constant and faithful,

 

How’s everyone’s challenge going? Are you all having a good time? Visiting lots of other blogs?  I’m trying to visit five new blogs each day but it’s not Have you ordered a t-shirt yet?  Have you found all of the letters so far in the scavenger hunt?  Don’t forget to check out the master list and select a few that you may not normally visit. Most of all, have fun! ♥

Examining Faults ~ Letters from the Heart



Today, for your listening pleasure I’ve included a song from one of your favorite bands. This song always brings forth some sort of self-examination.

Dear Barbie:

These letters we are writing to our older self are not only to humor you in your old age, but to help you in the now and present time. Isn’t is easy to look at someone else and pick out everything you see wrong with them? It’s E-Evil 👿 and easy to find fault with someone else. It takes a strong person to admit their shortcomings to themselves, let alone share them for everyone to see. Everyone should take a few moments every now and again to examine their own faults. The first part of fixing something is recognizing it’s there. So let’s go through the list, shall we?

→ You are as impatient as the night is long.
→ We already know you leave the cupboard doors open from a previous post.
→ You interpret a situation, then become irritated when the person doesn’t respond the way you think they should.
→ You snore.
→ Your hair is everywhere.
→ The piles of clutter are out of hand.
→ You take on more projects than you can handle by yourself and get upset when Tall Cool ☺ne doesn’t want to participate.

Ok let’s not beat you up too much. That’s a pretty good list to start. Very good, now you can ponder over that list, and tomorrow we will take a look at fixing some of those faults.

Galatians 6:4 ~ Let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another.

FOR MY FELLOW A2Z BLOGGERS:

I got my  A2Z Blogging T-Shirt yesterday so I can sport it today.  YAH for me.

Anyone reading who want’s to sign up for the challenge do it today, because the master list closes tomorrow. 

I’m trying to do some of the BONUS CHALLENGES for fun, are you?  

Until next time,

your constant and faithful,

What is A2ZBlogging? Using this premise, you would start beginning April First with a topic themed on something with the letter A, then on April second another topic with the letter B as the theme, and so on until you finish on April thirtieth with the theme based on the letter Z.  It doesn’t even have to be a word–it can be a proper noun, the letter used as a symbol, or the letter itself.  The theme of the day is the letter scheduled for that day.

Controlling Situations ~ Letters from the Heart

Dear Barbie,

I know this is going to be hard for you, but one day when you look back on this letter you will appreciate the humor. You make yourself lists and then you make more lists to remember to look at the list you made. You have piles of paper and books (Tall Cool ☺ne hates your piles of clutter) everywhere to remind you what’s next. It’s just clutter.

You’re enjoying that nice cup of blueberry coffee right now, the cats are under your feet, and as you look out into the kitchen from your office what are you seeing? You’re seeing the cupboard doors open? Why can’t you get that habit under control and close them? Tall Cool ☺ne comes behind and closes your doors you’ve left open.

You think you have to call your mother every day. How about this? If you don’t call her and she wants to talk to you, she’ll call you. Revelation: she might not want to talk to you every day. 

You make itineraries of your days off of what you and Tall Cool ☺ne are going to do.  Then you get mad when things don’t go as you have them planned. You want to control everything ~Genesis 3:16.  No matter how much you think you have it figured out, guess what! You control nothing. Listen, doll, Christ first, then your husband, then you. “… run in such a way that you may obtain it. And in everyone who competes … is temperate in all things…” ~1 Corinthians 9:24-25. Be temperate, be accommodating and let go of things you have no control over.

A little spontaneity never hurt anyone.




Until next time,

your constant and faithful,

 

What is A2ZBlogging? Using this premise, you would start beginning April First with a topic themed on something with the letter A, then on April second another topic with the letter B as the theme, and so on until you finish on April thirtieth with the theme based on the letter Z.  It doesn’t even have to be a word–it can be a proper noun, the letter used as a symbol, or the letter itself.  The theme of the day is the letter scheduled for that day.

Wicked Ways of the Wandering




An Apt Pupil once told me that A Good Marriage was the ticket to The Bazar of Bad Dreams. Blockade Billy tried to find hope in a Bag of Bones, but his wife Carrie left her Children of the Corn for dog, Cujo to eat during the Cycle of the Werewolf. Through a Cat’s Eye there is a Cell just beyond Desperation. Delores Claiborne may have been in Different Seasons of her life when she fell asleep under a Dreamcatcher and woke up in Duma Key. Fortunately Everything’s Eventual and at the End of Watch it’s Finders Keepers.

At Four Past Midnight From a Buick 8 they will find Full Dark No Stars and Gerald’s Game plays out at the Hotel at the End of the Road. No one leaves happy and everyone leaves their Hearts in Atlantis. It will cause Insomnia Just After Sunset and trust me, it’s no Joyland. Not King’s, but LT’s Theory on Pets that is the real Lisey’s Story. The Lawnmower Man is just another one of The Langoliers. Misery doesn’t come without Mr. Mercedes and he’s driving in Maximum Overdrive.

Nona thinks she wants Needful Things but it’s just a bunch of Nightmares & Dreamscapes The Outsider told her she would have if she visited Pet Sematary. She signed up for Quitter’s Inc. and thought The fifth Quarter would bring Revival but she met Rose Madder who was just another Sleeping Beauty. The Shining Skeleton Crew took The Stand and in The Institute The Girl who Love Tom Gordon is standing alone at The Dark Tower. The Dead Zone is not really dead but The Eyes of the Dragon will haunt The Dark Half if there is anything left.

By the time Uncle Otto’s Truck comes to take us Under the Dome Umney’s Last Case of  the American Vampire will be the Word Processor of the Gods and the Woman in the Room will cast everyone out to The Wastelands.

Just a fun little trot through one of my favorite author’s tales. Do you know who it is? I could not come up with a title for K. Can you? X, Y, and Z doesn’t count because those days have not played out yet.



Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge. This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with this crazy pandemic. Being quarantined means people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new friends/contacts. Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings. Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.

Vacation



As the lazy, hazy days of summer draw near, for most students summer vacation has started early. I am reminded of the infamous English assignment at the beginning of the school year. “What Did You Do Over Summer Vacation?” It was one assignment we could pretty much bank on every year from the third grade on. I remember thinking my essay was going to be boring. All the other kids did way more fun stuff than me. They went to Disney or Daytona Beach or the Grand Canyon. I spent my summers at my Mimi and Papa’s house in Norway, Maine. No internet, no cable TV, no air conditioning, no swimming pool! Heck there wasn’t even a color tv until I was about 13 years old. How could a kid today ever survive that kind of summer?

One summer, after direct instruction from my grandfather not to, I went in the garden barefoot. I stepped on a rusty, old spike. (Ouch). It went right through my foot. For the next week or so, I spent soaking my foot in a bath of hot, purple water. That was kind of a drag. Another summer I peeled the whole top layer of skin off my back after swinging too close to the tree on a tire swing. Again, my Papa told me not to do so. He took the tire swing down after that and put up a regular swing. Of course this was at the instruction of my grandmother. That was fun. I could stand up on the board and pump my legs so the swing would go really high. In fact, at one point, I had it so high it went right over the clothes line. Those rope burns on the back of my legs only lasted a few weeks. It was all cleared up by the time school started.

Ah, yes the fun days of summer. Bee stings, cuts and bruises were typical. We’d drink iced tea or lemonade that was so sour it would put a pucker on your lips. We’d pick fresh vegetables from the garden and have cucumber and mayonnaise sandwiches out at the picnic table in the afternoons. At night, we would run through the tall grass and catch fireflies to see who could make their Mason jar light up the brightest. We’d take white handkerchiefs and wrap them with rocks then toss them up in the dark sky just to watch the bats dive bomb them. Now that was entertainment.

What would kids write about now? “I spent my summer in quarantine” or “I spent my summer posting videos on YouTube”.  Do you think they would take the time to hand write an essay? Would they even know what cursive writing is? I remember disagreeing with my son about his math homework fifteen years ago. He would always insist that it was okay for him to do it in pen.  He told me that when you are left-handed, writing with a pen is much easier than with a pencil. When I was in school, math was to be done in pencil, English in pen — blue or black ink, no exceptions, and always in cursive. Red ink was unacceptable, ever. My, oh my how things have changed.

I hope kids will have fun and memorable summer vacations just like I did when I was growing up.  Now that I think about it, mine were not boring at all.  Those kids that got to do all that fun stuff are the ones who really missed out. Mine were the best vacations ever. 

2 Timothy 3:1 … in the last days perilous times will come. We are closer than we know.








Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge. This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with this crazy pandemic. Being quarantined means people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new friends/contacts. Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings. Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.

Quarter Finals

I’m going to be quiet today because I know everyone else is taking advantage of the Q word no one wants to hear about anymore. It’s been a quandary for all of us and we are tired of it.

Besides, I have fig BBQ sauce bubbling away in the kitchen and need to get that canned up. But here’s a quick poem to make you laugh…


Quarter Finals
Stanley Cup Play-offs

Hockey is my favorite sport
They chuck the puck across the court.

I especially love it when they foul
And when the ref throws in the towel!

When they are down two to one
Three balls, two strikes, oh boy, home run!

Cheerleaders jump and yell with glee
Everyone loves that mean goalie

Peanuts, popcorn and ice cold beer
And people wonder what I’m doing here
Omigosh, wait I think that’s a birdie
Cellphone’s beeping; it’s my friend, Gertie
I love hockey look at that– a hole in one
Instead of that last beer, I should have had none.



See ya tomorrow with the letter R.

Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge.  This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with this crazy pandemic. Being quarantined means people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new friends/contacts.  Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings.  Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip. 




ONE SKIP DAY




Hell found me!  As I fell into the depths of the cold salty Atlantic water I saw my whole fifteen year life flash before me.  I thought about my mother and what she would think.  I worried about my diary and what my sister would do with it when she found it.  I wondered what my friends Chris and Jackie were doing, and if they would try to save me.

The water swirled around me and everything turned black.  The salt tasted metallic in my mouth.  I kept sinking further into the depths of the water.  I didn’t realize the Penobscot was so deep, then suddenly I felt soft ground.  I pushed into the flats upward with my soaked sneakers and immediately began to ascend.  I wanted to take a breath.  I needed to take a breath.  When I slipped it was unexpected, and didn’t take a deep breath as one does before jumping in water.  I knew if I gasped for air that my lungs would be filled with water, and I would drown.  I couldn’t see the surface and my wet jeans and sweatshirt pulled me down.   I didn’t want to die.  I was too young to die.  I started making deals with God, as we do when things go wrong.  “Dear God, please don’t let me die.  Please, I promise I’ll never copy homework again.  I won’t be mean to my sister.  I promise I won’t skip anymore classes.  God, please, please, don’t let me drown.”

April showers bring May flowers, and they also bring warm, sunny afternoons, and the itching of spring fever; that equals to a whole bunch of trouble for a few high school kids. After five months of snow, and shoveling snow, and then more snow to shovel, when it reached 45 degrees, that was a celebrated welcome.  Basketball was over, and baseball hadn’t really got started so those late afternoon rides home on the activity bus were on temporary hiatus.  It was that awkward time of boredom in school, and typical teenage girls and boys look for things to dispel the monotony.   The three of us had been best friends since the fifth grade when I moved to town.  Based on my experience three friends are a recipe for disaster.  Two will get together and talk about the other one, and one will try to vie for another, and it normally turns into a mess.

For Chris, Jackie and I, it was different.  Chris wasn’t into the girlie things that Jackie and I talked about.  He just wanted to be our friend, and that was good enough for us.  We liked that Chris acted as our bodyguard per say, and he always let me copy his math homework.  He was wicked smart.    It is all different now with the technology and social media available to occupy a bored teen-ager.

Back in 1980 none of us owned a computer; let alone a smart phone.  Our parents would never have tolerated us playing video games or social media forums anyways.  We were lucky to have one color television in the house. If anyone had a cell phone it was one of those monstrosities that came in a bag and needed to have the magnet antennae plunked out on the roof, and then the power cord got plugged into the cigarette lighter.  If you were very lucky your parents owned a car that the cigarette lighter worked in, and maybe they let you borrow it with that ugly thing called a car phone.  Only some of the preppy kids, and most of the grease monkeys had their own cars.

The three of us were at the mercy of begging our parents, and more often than not they said ‘no’.  Needless to say, most of our entertainment was done by walking or taking our bikes.  Remember those things that you peddle, and your butt hurts from the uncomfortable seat?    Spring fever brought afternoons of cutting classes, and walking the sidewalks trying to stay hidden from friends of our parents who would share the fact that they had seen us on the street, when we should have been in school.  We were young, naïve.   We had no idea how lucky we were to be young and naïve. That was of course, until after the thirteenth skip day when our parents were notified by the principal that we were cutting classes.  Young people do stupid things, and we were very stupid.

The most significant, as well as the last adventure we took could have been the death of us, or at least, one of us.  The three of us decided to cut our “health” class! How ironic now that I reminisce about it!   We set out for a quest searching for anything that would be more exciting than sitting in Mr. King’s stinky armpit smelling class room listening to his monotonous voice talk about penises and vaginas.  Instead of walking the streets, taking the chance of being spied by a nosy adult, we decided to take the forbidden path just beyond the smoking area  behind Hampden Academy down to the Penobscot River.  We were going to hike out to the rocks, do some exploring and maybe find an electric eel in the small pools of water left behind from the tide going out.

The sun was shining and we shed our sweatshirts and tied them around our waists.  Jackie took her shoes off for a short time until one of the rocks cut her foot and she put the bloody thing back in her high top Nike sneakers.  We searched for cool looking shells with the shiny glitter of embossed quartzite, starfish, crabs and the coveted electric eel.  We made our way out across the rocks that went out deep into the smelly flats that were exposed from the tide being out. We were having a splendid afternoon, throwing rocks and mud at each other, talking about the upcoming spring dance and who we thought would go with who and who wouldn’t show up and who we’d like not to have show up.  

What we weren’t expecting was the tide to rush back in so quickly.  One of us couldn’t swim.  We had sneakers on and jeans and sweatshirts tied around our waists.  Not dressed for rock climbing by any means.  When the tide comes in on the Penobscot, the tide comes in fast.  It was scary for all three of us but mostly for me.

It was Chris, probably because he was the one who couldn’t swim, who first recognized the fact that our way into land was quickly disappearing.  The path out to the rocks that we originally took covered almost immediately with eighteen feet of cold, salty, stinky Atlantic Ocean.  We had to scale the rocks fast if we were going to get to land before there was no path back at all.  I remember slipping and sliding and cutting our hands on the sharp edges of rocks.  The rocks poked out of the dark murky water, some covered in green mossy seaweed while others appeared to be shards of shiny black glass.  The most treacherous were the rocks that appeared dry and safe to step on, but our weight triggered them to shift and move causing us to lose our balance more than once.    I screamed and as I slipped I heard Jackie and Chris both yell, “Barbie!”  The rest was inaudible because I slipped into the depths of the black water.  It seemed like a life time that I was under water.  It was cold and I could feel my muscles tightening up, and soon I wouldn’t be able to move at all.  Abruptly I surfaced and sucked in a huge breath of fresh air.  I gagged and spit and clawed my way to the edge.  Jackie and Chris dragged me back up on the edge of the rocks.  I was shaking from fear more so than the cold, but thankful to be alive.

When we reached the shore line the only way to level ground was up.  We climbed through rocks and pulled through trees and brushed past bushes and dug through sod.  We climbed and moaned and groaned the whole way.  Dry level ground never felt so good.   Jackie and Chris ended up with soaked feet, wet jeans and bloody hands.  I was grateful to be soaked but alive and safe.  Where we came off the rocky walls was a long ways from where we had begun our adventure.  The walk back through a field of prickly bushes was not especially a fun experience, and when the giant back yard dog chased us and the owner came out with a shot gun, we were even more anxious to make our way back to school.  We were lucky to catch the bus home to Winterport and luckier when our parents said we had to quit cutting school and stay in Mr. King’s classroom.  We were just thankful that we could quit trying to scale the banks of the Penobscot River in a pair of Nike’s on a skip day.

To be honest, it was a fun skip day….and some of it’s true!  Most of it is made up and names have been changed to protect the innocent! 

Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge.  This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with the epidemic going on right. Being quarantined means more people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new people.  Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings.  Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.

New Normal


We keep asking each other when things are going to get back to normal. Normal being the way things used to be. Baseball games, music festivals, old home days, high school graduations, rock concerts, sushi bars and drinks after work. As I’m writing this, it feels strange to think about how many normal things have been affected by this virus. Unfortunately things will never be the same again. The normal that we once knew is all new. I don’t think things will ever be the same again. We have to get used to a whole new normal.

Remember how things were six months ago? What do you think they will look like six months from now? What about six years from now? What is normal to you?

We don’t consider ourselves the social butterfly type of people. We did like to do an occasional happy hour at the grocery store that allows one to drink beer while shopping.  There were a few annual activities we liked to participate in each year, a NASCAR race, a few car shows, poultry festival, etc. All those things are now gone! It makes me sad because we looked forward to those outings.

The new normal is not like any normal I’m used to. Instead of greeting an old friend with a hug, the new normal is resorting to a six foot distance wave or a peace sign. The new normal is happy hours with friends from home, on Skype and then posting the collage on Facebook. The new normal is working remotely, at home, only a phone call away. The new normal is going to be hard to get used to.



The next generation will think it’s normal. This generation will tell their grandchildren how they used go to a building and sit at desks when they went to school. They will recall sporting events and music festivals or day trips to theme parks. Vacations were get-a-ways where people flocked to celebrate. Toilet paper could be found on shelves and there was no limit to how much one could purchase.

The new normal doesn’t sound normal at all. I don’t know about you, but I like the old way better.  No cats were harmed in creating this post, me on the other hand, yeah… I gotta bite!




Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge. This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with the epidemic going on right. Being quarantined means more people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new people. Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings. Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.

Mason Jar Friendships



Much like a cupboard of full Mason jars
Or the midnight sky of twinkling stars
A friend is compassionate, funny and sweet
Whilst some encourage in times of defeat
Sharing a story to brighten a frown
Lending a shoulder to the friend who’s down
Great treasure is found when least expected
Friends will stand tall, when one is rejected
Countless secrets, much laughter digested
Friendships depend on the time invested
Shower your friends with love and affection
Guide each other with positive direction
Relationships built on candor and trust
Will stand the test of time, and never will rust
Friendships will age, as does the garden crop
Work will be done, not without a teardrop
Like an old Mason jar filled with treasure
Finding true friendships is such a pleasure

Thanks again goes out to Berta and Rach who made this awesome quilted tapestry for me.




Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge. This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with the epidemic going on right. Being quarantined means more people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new people. Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings. Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.

DustBunnies


Dustbunnies are a familiar sight under the bed and in some corners of our house. It’s not that I don’t clean regularly. I do, it’s just that I miss those spots where the dustbunnies gather. They are not adhering to the social distancing rules that have been put in place. Dustbunnies like animals too. They pull that fur into the party and suddenly you have slut’s wool (seriously, I found that word while researching dustbunnies).

My husband hates dustbunnies. It makes him sneeze like crazy. I try to take care of them every weekend, but sometimes there are just other things I’d rather be doing. Blogging, gardening, cooking, etc. It is important to take care of these dusty critters that accumulate in unseen areas. If left to grow too long, they can become unsightly as well as unhealthy.

Since we are under quarantine, what a great time to get the vacuum cleaner and dust mop out and start visiting those less traveled spots. You will be amazed how many dust bunnies you have living in your house. Get rid of them.

Until next time, stay healthy, stay hydrated, stay happy.


Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge. This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with the epidemic going on right. Being quarantined means more people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new people. Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings. Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.



Cow Tipping


With arcades closed and school is out forever, kids might be looking for some fun entertainment. Back in the 70’s we knew people who went out cow tipping. Sure did. They would drive around farms and sneak up on an unsuspecting cow just standing there chewing his cud and a couple guys would tip it over. Course we never saw pictures of this actually happening. We never got a chance to see it happen in person, but we knew someone who knew someone else who did.

Cow tipping for those of you who easily get fooled, is just a figure of speech. A cow is a beastly animal weighing a thousand pounds or more. If a couple of tanked up country bumpkins with nothing better to do on a Saturday night, could actually push over a cow, so could a good gust of wind. Flying cows aren’t a normal sighting on a regular basis, unless you are watching “Twister”.  But cow tipping is a good conversation starter especially when you have a tall tale to tell.

I think the folks at Walmart are doing some cow tipping hoarding up all the toilet paper. Caveat Emptor. Stand in line to enter the store. There is a sign where the toilet paper is usually shelved. It reads customers can purchase it at the customer service desk. Proceed to customer service area. Wait in line for your turn at the desk. Ask for toilet paper. The four people behind the customer service counter stare at you with big dumb looks on their faces, like you have three heads or something. They say to me like I should have known this, we don’t have any. I point back toward the toilet paper isle and ask what about that sign? Well the toilet paper is all gone.  Well where is it?  They say, you have to get here real early in the morning to get it. Well maybe you should include that on the sign! I walk away shaking my head!  How annoying! I wonder how long this will continue.



Welcome to the A-Z Blogging Challenge. This year I think it will bring a lot more people together with the epidemic going on right. Being quarantined means more people will flock to the web looking for things to do. This is a great way to meet new people. Maybe you will read something new, find a new hobby, or just be entertained by some random musings. Whatever the case may be, stay safe, drink plenty of liquids and enjoy the trip.

V-ger V-ger V-ger

 

Tall Cool ☺ne and I hear V-ger, v-ger v-ger just about every morning while having our coffee. Not sure what kind of birds they are singing v-ger, v-ger, v-ger,  but we joke about it daily.  V didn’t want me to be creative today so I’m wing-dinging it. I thought about vomiting vicious and vindictive vocals  and Tall Cool ☺ne mentioned vagina but those v-words just weren’t cutting it for me today.  So in tribute to the singing birds and the Vulcan (may he rest in peace) here’s to the Voyager 6.

V

She’s Wicked Smart

Sunflower

(But uglier than a mud fence)

To coin a phrase, it’s a dog eat dog world out there.  Every cloud has a silver lining and every dog has its day.  Mark my words the name of the game is not to jump on the bandwagon and just between you and me I don’t mean to flog a dead horse but I’ve got the gift of gab.  A little bird told me half  the battle is getting there but Rome wasn’t built in a day.  It’ll all come out in the wash and to cut a long story short, the show must go on.  Just for the record I’m not reinventing the wheel because you can’t teach an old dog a new trick, but face facts, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  So far so good … this a-z blogging challenge might be the greatest thing since sliced bread, no expense spared.  This is a golden opportunity for the movers and shakers; the more the merrier and I’ll move the goalposts or bite the bullet because actions speak louder than words. The early bird gets the worm at the crack of dawn and I won’t drown in my sorrows if this is sour grapes.  Not to put too fine a point on it but, lock stock and barrel this is a level playing field and let’s face it, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck so let bygones be bygones. At the end of the day you can’t win them all in the rat race, and accidents will happen across the board. Give me a helping hand just for the record and share your favorite jewel in the crown of clichés.  I’ll be waiting with bated breath.

I should tell you I’ve shared this before. I added a few more to the original post, but I thought it was a good “SHARE” for the letter S in today’s a-z blogging challenge.

S

 

 

Quadruped Quimby

Quimby

While planting in the yard I noticed a hole,
Remote and camouflaged, near a kobold knoll.
The dirt was pulled out in a small little mound
Deep inside for a quadruped, a home had been found
Never would have noticed this queer tiny friend
But the roses were blooming and I needed to tend
When I peered into the ground two eyes peered back
I feared for my life this tetrapod would attack
I ran for a shovel but only found a rake
To fill the hole in the ground for everyone’s sake
I ran from the shed after a swig from the flagon
I returned to the hole and there stood a small dragon
At first I was scared but then I could see
He was just as frightened, even more so than me
He promised he’d be kind and wouldn’t hurt a soul
If he could just live in that hole down below
With contemplation and thought I finally agreed
In the garden he could stay if on the bugs he would feed
He pledged no flowers but only insects he would dine
Now I only see Quimby when I drink of the wine.

Q

Jargon Jabberer

Joker

We call ourselves Jack-of-all-trades,

While poker hands come up all spades.

This writing job we encounter jerks,

And rarely enjoy a rich man’s perks.

Journalism is our skill of trade

Unfortunately never well paid

Taking words and juxtapose

Into rhyming jargonizing prose.

Some of us are known as a Jesus freak

Till we learn how to teach while being meek

Journeying through this annual dare

Justifying to ourselves why people stare

John Barleycorn was an interesting fellow

In Maine some people speak in joual.

I’ve jabbered on quite long enough,

Joie de Vivre and always stay tough.

The Challenge

JNew Image

X Marks The Spot

Map

X marks the spot where the treasure can be found.
X cancels mistakes that are made.
X selects choices on pre-printed forms.
X rates a movie.
X equals ten on the number scale.
X seems like such a bad letter to me.
X is the 24th letter of the alphabet.
X mas translates into the symbol for Christ plus mas for a shortened version of Christmas.
X as in chromosomes are paired in women usually and single in men (interesting isn’t it?)
X Y Z is sang at the end of the alphabet song.
X L used to be a clothing size for large people, now it seems to be norm.
X M L is computer lingo which is similar to HTML.
X words are hard to pronounce, maybe that’s why there are not that many.

Hope you have enjoyed my X blog today. Do be sure to check out some of the other bloggers taking part in the challenge. We’ve almost come to the end of our social event. Hopefully you have been inspired to maybe join in the fun next year. Do share your observations and thoughts in the comment section below.

X

Vision

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Valuing the A-z blogging challenge let me share my vision for a select few V words.
Vagabond is a fancy word for a hobo.
Vacancy is when my mind is on vacation.
Valley Girl was my vocal chords in high school — like omigawd!
Vocational school was where the greasers went to school.
Video games consisted of PACMAN and Centipede.
Vger is only known by true trekkie fans. Also we have birds that sing it.

Vagina is what my husband said to write about.
Violence has gotten out of hand in our world
Vigilantes should be paid for their service.
Valet parking is for rich people.
Valedictorian used to be only the wicked smart people, but now that standards have dropped everyone can be one.
Village is where small houses that are built in trees can be found. Also gnomes live here.
Volcano with Tommy Lee Jones is still one of my favorite movies.

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Be sure to check out some of the other V bloggers today.

V

Lollipops and Lollygags

lollipops

 

Lollipops used to be the reward at the doctor’s office for children if they were good during their office visit. I remember as a little girl going into Dr. Buzzell’s office, it smelled of stringent antiseptic and iodine. I would sit up on the cold table while he stuck a wooden stick half-way down my throat and told me to say ‘aaah’. I didn’t want to say ‘aaah’ what I really wanted to do was to throw up.

I must have been bad because I don’t remember every getting a lollipop. However I do remember seeing them sitting on the counter in a glass jar. It reminded me of Oleson’s General Store on Little House on the Prairie. Nellie and her brother, Willie were so spoiled and always dipping into the candy jars. I was not a spoiled child, but would have loved to been able to dip into the candy jar.

I believe the practice of handing out lollipops at the doctor’s office changed not too long after I was a child. I have a feeling it was due to the rotting teeth of children. When I brought my children to the doctor’s office, years later, Dr. Brewster handed out stickers as a reward for being ‘good’ in the office.

Lollipops were also a special treat at the bank. Why? Because kids were a pain in the ass when it came to waiting in lines and cell phones and iPods were not invented yet. Giving them a lollipop kept them quiet while Mommy did her banking. My bank has a basket next to each window and you can help yourself if you go inside. They also hand them out at the drive through window along with dog biscuits for Fido.

bearsnow 

Lollygag is to fool around or to dawdle spending time idly, fruitlessly or lackadaisical.

We used to have a blind dog named Bear. Bear loved to go for walks even though he couldn’t see. He was born without eyes, so his other senses were better than normal. He was so smart that he didn’t need a leash on most occasions. He would listen for our footsteps and know where to walk or when we stopped.

One day we started out for a walk and Bear decided he wanted to lollygag. I said, “Come on, Bear! Quit your lollygagging! I’ve got things to do when we get back from this walk!” Bear understood what I said, he really did. Do you know what happened right after I said that? I learned about lollygagging. 

I slipped on the gravel, and fell to the ground. I landed on my left knee, and a rock tore it open like a fillet-O-fish. It didn’t hurt at first, after I saw the blood and the bone then I thought I was dying. Sixteen internal stitches and ten external later and I was couch-bound. For two weeks I had the opportunity to understand what lollygagging was all about. That taught me to accept what is, and if it takes longer than I expect, so be it. Every moment is a gift and you never know when the lollipops might disappear from the bank counter.

Be sure to check out some of the other great L-Bloggers.

L